healthcare is so advanced (for 1902)

It came to me the other day when I was watching unsolved medical mysteries or something to the like. First of all the show is stupid, but it’s entertaining. The premise is they go over the symptoms of a mystery disease in a recreated dramatization (rescue 9-1-1 style). The problem is they go through all this drama, and then they’re like “she had diabetes.” Very anticlimactic, but I digress. (Did you gather that I like to say that I digress?) What came to me was that modern-day medicine is hella stupid. Don’t get me wrong–it’s way more advanced then it used to be. Science has done some amazing things, but if you look at the bigger picture of where we are in the world and all we can do, it’s really not that great. The fact that you can have something wrong with you and either not know what it is or be misdiagnosed or a range of other possibilities just boggles my mind.

my prototype

I make the prediction that in about 50 years or so, you will be able to go to the doctor and get a checkup that literally checks every aspect of your physical being, both internally and externally. This future of medicine could come in the form of a machine that scans you and samples your blood…perhaps examining your skin and measuring your vital signs and brain activity. Maybe it could even be used for dental and psychological purposes as time progresses.

This notion, of course, is decades away, but I guarantee you that some form of this will one day come to fruition. Some machines are probably doing pieces/parts of it today anyway. Maybe robots will be part of lives by then. It sounds kind of exciting and sci-fi, but it will happen. If you read any scientific journals, or even my post about robochucky, you will see it’s true. What’s more interesting is that it will change the face of the medical industry. How will doctors prepare for this future? It will be more of a training course in machine usage than disease understanding. But of course there will be the resistance movement in society and in schools that will teach traditional medicine but prepare doctors exactly how to use this machinery. After all, I didn’t say it could cure anything. I think between how much diseases mutate and how much money can be made off of treatment, we aren’t going to see major diseases eradicated any time soon. We should just start embracing my idea and at least KNOW what’s wrong with us so our treatments are more effective…early detection is often key.

I did some snooping to see what was really going on in the labs of the local medical school. Above you can see they are dealing with a prototype of my design, and they are clearly not ready for it. I can see why, too. I went to check out their current equipment, and I found they’re still running Windows (R) Feline (puRr).

why senator obama will not get my vote

If you’ve been following the DNC, you know that Hillary gave a speech in support of Obama. You know that Bill gave a speech in support of Obama. You know that everyone has been giving speeches to try to convince the public that Obama is ready…to try to convince Hillary supporters to vote for him. And while I am mystified by the senator’s ability to campaign effectively, I am not convinced. If he is ready to run, why does he need highly qualified former opponents to rally in support of him. Perhaps a large portion is that I just feel jaded–as do millions of other Hillary supports. Last I checked, only about 60-some percent plan to vote for Obama. A slam-dunk Democrat election is now just another swing election. If Obama wanted to win, he should have chosen Hillary. The day he chose the old white guy is the day he made his campaign more comparable to the McCain. Now, Obama and Biden do make a formidable team, but I do think they have lost lots of votes by trying to appeal to a wider audience. Why not appeal to the 540 billion Hillary supporters?? Now not only do they have to be convinced, they are pissed she’s not VP!

The Obama camp has to now appeal to the masses while working extra hard to win those Hillary supporters. The thing is, I think they just think we’ll all come around and vote for the party because that’s what’s best and that’s what Hillary wants. Well, that’s what Hillary says now. Hillary is doing what’s best for the party, but she was against Obama just months ago, and I never supported him. I don’t think he can get done what he wants to get done, although some of his IDEAS are good. Hillary was my candidate and still is. I never wanted Obama, and he is not my candidate. I joke about launching the Abstain (from voting) for McCain Campaign, but it’s kind of how I truly feel. I am super pissed that Hillary isn’t going to the white house. I’m not going to vote for McCain, but I cannot bring myself to vote for Obama. I plan to vote for Hillary–still.

Will I be happy if McCain wins? Of course not. But can I live with my decision if Obama loses? Yes. As I said before, he is not my candidate. If the democrats loose, it’s not the fault of the angry Hillary supports–it’s Obama’s fault for not choosing her.

That’s my stance as of now. Hopefully the Ocamp has something in the works to combat this mentality because I’m sure there are millions of voters who feel exactly like me. It is my greatest hope that they will be able to win us over in time for the election.

CARNIVALE!

As you might already be aware, this post documents my excursions at the California State Fair. And OH what a glorious time it was! I think the last time I was anywhere near an amusement park or anything of the sort was my senior year in high, which was the last time for a reason. But, since we don’t like to speak about that day, I digress. It was with much anticipation and excitement that I attended this weekend’s affair (haha a fair). The first part of the day, however, was annoying. I finally decided I would go to this fair come hell or high water, and I did. But, I didn’t count on waiting a fortnight in traffic or treading over miles of uncharted territory to reach “airport security.” When I finally did reach the main gate an hour later, I was frisked, wanded and possibly molested, but I didn’t care. I was finally going to the fair.

That's interesting. Interesante.

A certain joy overcame me upon entering those heavily guarded gates. Granted this joy was often interrupted by people getting in my way and annoying me at all times, but it was to be expected I suppose. So, what was I to do first? Food? Rides? Games? Well I can tell you right away that it was food. My goal was to eat everything in sight and be removed from the Ferris wheel in a diabetic coma. And while aluminum cans aren’t allowed in because they’re “dangerous,” it’s perfectly acceptable to have a skewered corndog. Interesante! I wanted to play games and ride the Ferris wheel multiple times, but I forgot how inflated prices are at a fair. It was literally more expensive than that time I had lunch with Cecil Rhodes (founder of DeBeers). On to the Ferris wheel–$5 to ride once. SAY WHAAAAT? While either she or Cecil may have had a ticket to ride, I certainly did not and didn’t want to shell out the money for it. Although I guess it wasn’t that much for one time only. I think my mentality was that if I pay for one thing, then I should do games too, which were equally expensive. I wanted to win a goldfish .

I got some more food and then toured the exhibits. Fantastic animals. Cows are gross, and I hate them, but goats are soo fucking cute. I got to see baby birds hatching and hopping all around. I even saw a magical seal of enchantment. I was in the art exhibit looking at stuff I’d love to have but cannot afford when they shut the fair down sharply at 10 p.m. I didn’t even get my cotton candy y’all…I’m serious. On the way out I did manage to sit on one of those foot massager machines, and it rocked my world. I’ll admit it was a little inappropriate. We have a date tomorrow.

All in all, I did pretty well for the time I had there. I loved the fair, and I want to go back…possibly before it leaves town at the end of the month. After all, I still need my cotton candy fix, and I want to see my massager. If not, next year will be a time to go more than once for sure!

typo vigilantism–fighting the government one park at a time

In a recent CNN news article, it was reported that two men were arrested and charged for vandalizing a 60-year-old sign at the Grand Canyon. They were each sentenced to a year of probation and banned from the park for that time…oh and they had to pay thousands of dollars to have the sign restored to its natural mistake-ridden state. What was that? Oh, did I forget to tell you why they were vandalizing the sign? They were correcting grammatical erors errors. First of all, I had to verify that it was nobody I knew being arrested–which came as both relief and disappointment–for these new-age which trials (get it? I misspelled “witch”). These vigilantes were vandalizing property, but was it OK in this instance? I would say yes. They were acting on behalf of the Typo Eradication Advancement League, which was created by one of the arrested men, but I support him and his audacious statement.

political relations

A timely, auxiliary post I thought would be appropriate because of the upcoming Democratic National Committee Meeting. I was waiting in the shadows of the internets for just the right moment.

I know! Let's have the Olympics....HERE!

Setting: a polluted, gross city where nobody is white (haha just kidding, but really Beijing)

Who: a retarded retard with more power than an electrical outlet (George W.)

What: an appearance at the 2008 Olympics and a related interview (most likely part of the Republican “save face” pr strategy for Bush’s last year in office, and guess what–it’s working)

While being forced to watch the scantly clad Olympic folk compete for oxygen in an Olympic-sized vernal pool (haha look it up, it’s a joke related to my new field of work), I came across an TV interview with the Bushers. He mumbled on about how exciting it was to see Americans playin the water and then gave his traditional smile with forehead/hairline rollback that he always gives when he says something without screwing up. A hand entered from off stage, rewarded him with a small treat, and the interview went on.

el presidente

The interview went on alright, and I have to hand it to leshrub because he didn’t screw up from what I watched. The interview turned from the Olympics to the economy’s problems. His response was, “First of all, I don’t think America has any problems (or something like that).” Good answer, from a public relations standpoint (disregard the fact that America is now in more debt than I). This was probably “Key message #1.” He had some other ones, and kept blabbering on without really answering the interviewers questions–as I would expect. My sister made a comment that it was funny to watch political peopleinterview because they never answer questions; they just say the same things over and over. I countered her comment by saying that is the gist of public relations. The goal is to go into the interview with several (but not too many) key messages, and no matter what you are asked, you need to drive your key messages to the audience. So, if you’re getting grilled about something, by the end of the interview, the audience should remember your points because they heard them several times. Of course, the caveat is that good speakers/interviewees know how to deliver key messages and still answer the question. You’ve gotta give a little bit or else they’re see right through you and think you’re dodging the questions. You don’t want to dodge; you just want to make sure your information is remembered.

PARTY!

So, I recommend this fun game to pass the time during those oh-so-enthralling speeches or what have you. Hey you can do this for most important information dissemination events (even at work) because if it’s important, you know the PR people were involved (because they are the most important people ever–for real they are, and if you don’t think so you’re stupid and don’t really understand how businesses work. hahhaa Thatis not only my personal opinion but also what truly happens in the real world). Try to identify the key messages. This is easier to do in situations where questions are being asked, but it’s still possible most of the time–I think. It’s not that hard, just listen for what they say more than once or for what they emphasize. Then at the end of the meeting see what your thoughts are and review your opinion based on the fact that your opinion may or may not have been affected by those key messages. I always do, and it helps me make a more informed opinion. Plus it can help you figure out if you’re getting fed a line of bullshit; if something seems off, it probably is. PR can only “spin” so much without turning into a lie. So if you wonder “why did they say it that way?,” the words were probably chosen very carefully–and your life is in grave, grave danger.