podcasts

Moving from the traditional, antiquated and soon-to-be-obsolete medium of the newspaper, I have recently taken a closer look at podcasts. Over the past year I have been monitoring this medium. For years people having been raving over the potential of podcastery, but have they actually begun using this technology? Yes. In fact, in recent months, the number of “valuable” podcasts has increased substantially. I say valuable meaning things that could look to have some regular-use interest to a significant number of people, and by substantially I mean a lot. I haven’t actually measure the increase in the number of podcasts, but it’s increased so much it’s almost an amount.

In my media exploritaus, I have begun downloading several podcasts–various NPR features, business tips, and several grammar-related ones as well. Nowadays, there seem to be several podcasts available to an audience seeking just about anything up to and including (but help me sweet Jesus not limited to) sex games and the goings on of American Idol runner-up David Archuleta.

You should be embrace podcasts, or at least check them out. You don’t need an iBrand to subscribe, and they’re free. You do, however, need iTunes. Get on it…you may be surprised.

a whole new world (partie numero deux)

Today is the second part of my “California is Different” series. Well, really it’s a two-part series, making it more of a set, but I could expound in the future. Today we will cover strictly traffic-related features of the state. This post was altered from its draft form when UC Davis students began returning to the city–you’ll see why later.

The Car Physical (meaning the physical car)
Cars out here are generally the same, except that they have to pass more stringent emissions testing to be permitted on the roads. Whatevs, my Focus passed with flying colors. The difference comes at a closer glance. Cars here have more stickers and labels on them than a new weight-loss drug whose statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. First you have the greenies. They have the yellow “Carpool Lane Access OK” stickers in up to four places on their bumpers. I guess if you have a super duper fuel-efficient car, you can drive in this lane whenever. Well, too bad everyone is a terrible driver in all lanes at all times; otherwise, it may be an incentive. Then there is the cancer warning sticker on the driver window that states a car contains known carcinogens. I’ve seen similar stickers before at discount stores, and I didn’t know it meant they were made with stupid chemical plastics; I thought it meant they were like dipped in lead paint or something, so I didn’t buy them. It’s a little ridiculous, and I think Californians just like stickers. Perhaps they want to have art on their cars as they do their bodies because literally everyone has a tattoo. I’m not really into that stuff. And while the premise of being chased by inked toddlers is interesting, it seems a dichotomy from the autistic Barney children I remember.

A Scholar of Lights
The term “scholar” is a new unit I’ve developed to measure the number of students that pass in front of my vehicle before I can proceed through an intersection. A scholar is roughly equal to three “classrooms,” or 30 students. If you need a larger unit, a “student body” is equal to 20 scholars. Carrying this logic, literally a scholar passed in front of me the other day when I was in downtown Davis. I knew students were coming back, but I didn’t expect them to flock like livestock. As the sun set, I finally made my way to the main road. You may be wondering why I haven’t mentioned any traffic specifia–well hold your horses. In Ohio, I almost never saw someone riding a bike after dark. Here, it’s rather common. In fact, everyone has head and tail lights for their bikes. Going down the road is a sea of unique, orange-white-and-red-colored flashes and reflectors. It’s like being in the ocean or something. Classrooms of people swarm the streets on bikes at night…creating traffic in their own lanes. It’s new, and it’s interesting. It’s also annoying because they are everywhere.

B(R)ANDING case 2: Macdo V. Geigo and the magicjack

I’ve been watching infomercials again, and this time I’m reporting on the magicJackTM. This magical jack is a VOIP (voice over IP) device, similar–I would imagine–to Vonage except it’s very compact. I take issue with some of the puffery in the commercial I saw. They were using news excerpts to describe how every news outlet was talking about the magicJack, but what they were quoting seemed to be pieces of boilerplate these news outlets would get from the company’s Web site. They also made a big deal out of the fact that the magicJack is FCC-approved. Unlike the ADA seal on dentifrice, the FCC seal is not an option. Without it, your product doesn’t go to market…or I’d like to see someone try. Now, they were creative in setting it up like an HSN special–even adding a counter of how many were sold at the bottom. I’ve seen it before, but this trickery of “We have a limited quantity, and I don’t know if we’ll be able to get any more from the factory,” is a bit ridiculous. What is this limited production run that this business signed up for? That’s just dishonest, and goes along with their exaggeration of how the magicJack can save you tens of thousands of dollars. Theoretically it could, but how many phone calls do you make? Now, all in the all, it’s a good product, and I would say is certainly worth trying (especially because it literally can save the average person hundreds of dollars a year). However, I don’t know if it’s worth supporting a company that seems to push the envelope with ethics. Case result: shame on magicJack for crossing the line and being gay. 

so cute

Moving on to Geico(R), I wonder what others think about its commercials. Geico seemingly has two separate branding campaigns, one with the lizard (which I would call the main campaign) and one with the cavemen (which I would call stupid). I can’t figure out why they continue to make these cavemen commercials…nor can I figure out if it has a different target audience. Perhaps certain people hate the lizard and love the cavemen? It’s the only solution I can think of because I hate the cavemen and absolutely love the lizard with his adorable little British accent. What are you thoughts? Club the cavemen or pull the lizard’s tail? Case pending target market research.

While recently reviewing Pauvre Plume, I came across an opinion of the new McDonald’s(R) coffee ads. If you’re not familiar with the ads to which I refer, they are the ones taking aim at the Starbucks(R) marketshare. The ads feature regular people reading books or something at a coffeehouse when they realize they could have the same thing at McDonald’s without having a pretentious goatee and glasses and unnecessary reading material. The premise is “hold the attitude,” and I like it. Now, contrary to Pauvre’s opinion, I don’t think Mickey Dees thinks people will come in and enjoy a nice latte while reading the latest best seller. I do, however, think that it will bring in some people who want these coffee drinks but feel a little uncomfortable in the Starbucks atmosphere. Starbucks has its niche, and it won’t change. There will always be those coffeehouse hippies who spend hours pontificating (and sometimes I do too–it’s fun once in a while), and I think that’s what makes these commercials so funny. Now these tasty treasures are available for the general public–or at least McDonald’s target audience–while they chow down a quarter-pounder. Case result: McDonald’s got on the billion dollar specialty coffee bandwagon and did so without a big risk. Good job, McDonald’s.

anti-social, socially retarded or just plain retarded

So I may be anti-social…or just a big loser hahaha. No, but seriously, I think I am anti-social–possibly a candidate for Social Anxiety Disorder. That, as its initials indicates, makes me saaaaaaaad. I think about going to bars and clubs, and I just don’t want to go. In fact, it takes an act of nature to get me there. I tend to have fun, but it’s nervous fun. I never let go and relax until I’m drunk, and we all know I never drink. So I say, why bother? What’s wrong with curling up in bed on Friday night to watch a Lifetime movie? You may think that’s lame, but you’ve obviously never seen Gracie’s Choice or True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet. The point is, when I come home from work, I am tired somethin’ fierce. I don’t need to be gettin’ all up in other people’s business–I just need to relax.

Let’s not even mention how I don’t have any money…or should we? I try to do a few entertainment-related things. Movies, jellybeans, stickers–hours of fun, right? Well, with movie prices now more than $10 per person, it’s often too luxurious to go to the movies at night. Plus lots of people are there, and not only do you have to sit nearer to them but also hear them making noise. That’s why I prefer matinees, and yes, I do go by myself. So now we’re moving back to the diagnosis of a senior citizen. I do carry my new briefcase-manbag over my arm like Sophia from The Golden Girls. Since this is the most well-received explanation, I think that’s what I’ll continue to go with. I do think, though, that it’s a combination of everything…and laziness.

weekend roundup

Is this yet another series premiere? It’s like blog sweeps. I dunno, I’m trying things out constantly and then I never do them again hahaha. So here’s what happened this week in the form of the alphabet:

A: Almost immediately did I resent going in early on a monday because I could have just called from anywhere.
B: Batteries do funny things when they die. That is if it’s the battery running your car and when it dies in a McDonald’s parking lot–I can assure you I was not loving it.
C: CVS/Caremark caused me to loose my mind…
D: Drugs were dispensed–fucking finally–and after spending $200
E: Eight million dollars. That’s how much I had to spend to get my car fixed.
F: Finger–I sliced it open when making apple crisp. It was a deadly affair and it hurts like a bitch.
G: Good Samaritan–a sexy little chap who helped me get my car going the first time.
H: HIV–What my iPhone keeps trying to type every time I type “have.”
I: iGenius–A new feature on Itunes that amuses me by telling me which songs I may like. We’ll see, we’ll see.
J: Jenny wouldn’t buy the new Jessica Simpson CD and she was supposed to so I could get it for free. She took forever.
K: Killing me were my legs and feet…man I need a massage. Luckily the company is bringing in our quarterly massages
L: Long–This post is going to be very long.
M: MBA–I need to start studying for the test for it and I don’t know math.
N: News about Natural disasters, such as Ike…I keep up.
O: Oh EM GEE–My 401K keeps going down…faster than it’s going up because America’s fucking shithole ghetto trashbag economy.
P: Poop–what Vance got on his hands after picking up Horatio. Strangely Horatio was clean.
Q: Queers are pretty ubiquitous in midtown…that’s why I need to be there…so I can know them all.
R: Righteous Kill is the name of the movie I went to see on Sunday. It was ok.
S: Second Saturday. I went this time, and it was really fun…
T: Too bad I can’t afford any of the art I see there.
U: Unicycles are dangerous and therefore should not be allowed at second saturday. I didn’t see any, but I did see a bicycle build for two (I hate that term, so that’s why I used it)
V: Vehicular homicide–i’d consider it…
W: When people get in my way. Another option is snap of their…
X: Xyphoid processes.
Y: Yes, I can be violent (but I’m too lazy)…otherwise, I’d belong in a
Z: zoo