As you might already be aware, this post documents my excursions at the California State Fair. And OH what a glorious time it was! I think the last time I was anywhere near an amusement park or anything of the sort was my senior year in high, which was the last time for a reason. But, since we don’t like to speak about that day, I digress. It was with much anticipation and excitement that I attended this weekend’s affair (haha a fair). The first part of the day, however, was annoying. I finally decided I would go to this fair come hell or high water, and I did. But, I didn’t count on waiting a fortnight in traffic or treading over miles of uncharted territory to reach “airport security.” When I finally did reach the main gate an hour later, I was frisked, wanded and possibly molested, but I didn’t care. I was finally going to the fair.

That's interesting. Interesante.

A certain joy overcame me upon entering those heavily guarded gates. Granted this joy was often interrupted by people getting in my way and annoying me at all times, but it was to be expected I suppose. So, what was I to do first? Food? Rides? Games? Well I can tell you right away that it was food. My goal was to eat everything in sight and be removed from the Ferris wheel in a diabetic coma. And while aluminum cans aren’t allowed in because they’re “dangerous,” it’s perfectly acceptable to have a skewered corndog. Interesante! I wanted to play games and ride the Ferris wheel multiple times, but I forgot how inflated prices are at a fair. It was literally more expensive than that time I had lunch with Cecil Rhodes (founder of DeBeers). On to the Ferris wheel–$5 to ride once. SAY WHAAAAT? While either she or Cecil may have had a ticket to ride, I certainly did not and didn’t want to shell out the money for it. Although I guess it wasn’t that much for one time only. I think my mentality was that if I pay for one thing, then I should do games too, which were equally expensive. I wanted to win a goldfish :).

I got some more food and then toured the exhibits. Fantastic animals. Cows are gross, and I hate them, but goats are soo fucking cute. I got to see baby birds hatching and hopping all around. I even saw a magical seal of enchantment. I was in the art exhibit looking at stuff I’d love to have but cannot afford when they shut the fair down sharply at 10 p.m. I didn’t even get my cotton candy y’all…I’m serious. On the way out I did manage to sit on one of those foot massager machines, and it rocked my world. I’ll admit it was a little inappropriate. We have a date tomorrow.

All in all, I did pretty well for the time I had there. I loved the fair, and I want to go back…possibly before it leaves town at the end of the month. After all, I still need my cotton candy fix, and I want to see my massager. If not, next year will be a time to go more than once for sure!


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