Accent on the second syllable of “presents…” it will change the whole meaning of the title. (That is, if you didn’t get it to begin with.) Moving on…This Christmas/Christian-adopted pagan holiday celebrating the birth of our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ (Lamb of God), you won’t find many gifts under our tree. Why you ask? Is it because people don’t have spirit? Quite the opposite, but spirit is not available in direct deposit–nor is it likely FDIC insured (I love it when I use topical humor; it’s just like watching Murphy Brown). The reason is apparently that euryone has gone poor quick, fast and in a hurry. I wouldn’t be so quick to blame this on the stock market. In my family, my age is inversely proportionate to the number of dollars spent on me/gift/gift. Now in the past–my credit card days–I would take it upon myself to buy myself all the gifts I wanted, which would all but ensure a good holiday for me. Not so much any more, although last year my sister literally bought me everything I asked for.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all about getting–I just really like it–I like giving just as much. Unfortunately this year I can’t do either (on my dime at least). And, as I mentioned before, the rest of my family appears to be following suit. Instead, we are proposing making gifts for each other, which I always thought was fucking gay. Gay, that is, until I realized how much fun and magical it could be. You see, we always do a family calendar, and this year the operation is planned for expansion. We’re going to go with a nicer quality calendar and then have everyone design sections or months of it (or at least pick the photos for that month) so we can have a collaborative calendar. I think I’ll do a little work with InDesign, and that will be fun to integrate pictures into…possibly some Photoshop action, too. We’re in the process (haven’t started) of assessing which vendor we’ll use and how flexible the calendar program is.
Oh, and let us not forget my personal gift to everyone (not you probably). I am writing limericks and poems about the people and will present them in some written form to each person on the day of celebration and joy. So far I have been cracking up at the limericks I have been writing for my sister Christina, and then I forgot I was supposed to write others until now.
Here’s a little sample I just wrote:
There once was a boy with a blog
And he was a total hog
Cuz for exercise
It was cakes, cookies, pies
If only he’d go for a jog